I keep a small notebook in my kitchen drawer. Not for recipes. For things that land on me at 11 p.m. with the kettle still warm. Last week, after our final discussion of 40-Love, I wrote one line: I can’t stop doing the backup-plan-for-the-backup-plan thing. I underlined it twice.
Books do that. They hand you a character who’s doing the exact thing you do, and suddenly your own habits are on the table, lit up, waiting for a verdict.
Our book club just closed its 40-Love chapter, and we have news: a new book, a new day, and a new time for our next gathering. But first, a moment for the person who started all of this.
In Loving Memory of Ashley Blackwell
When The Curvy Fashionista launched the TCF Book Club in 2025, Ashley Blackwell was the original contributor chosen to lead the way. She wasn’t simply a supporter of the idea β she was at the helm, bringing her passion for storytelling, fat representation, and books that let plus size characters take up real space on the page.
She was our bookish bestie. The person we trusted to dig up the fat-positive romances and fantasies that too often get overlooked.
We lost her recently. So as this community moves into its next chapter, I want to pause and honor the part she played in building it. Books give us somewhere to gather β reasons to laugh, debate, swoon, and yell at fictional people for terrible decisions. Ashley understood that, and she understood the joy of sharing it.
This one is for you, Ashley.
What 40-Love Left Us With
Last weekend we had our final meeting on 40-Love by Olivia Dade, and apparently, we are not done with grown-woman lovin’ over here. Not even a little bit. You can find the book at BookShop.org β a nice way to keep it with independent bookstores.
Here’s the shape of the story: Tess Dunn, a 40-year-old plus size assistant principal, is celebrating her birthday on vacation when she meets 26-year-old Lucas Karlsson, a former professional tennis player who now works as a tennis instructor at the resort. The chemistry is immediate. The problem is that Tess cannot stop thinking about the 14-year age gap between them. Lucas, meanwhile, could not care less.
Over their two weeks together, Tess slowly starts dropping her guard β letting herself enjoy what’s happening instead of obsessing over everything that could go wrong. Well. She tries.
Learning to Live in the Moment
That got us thinking about our own relationships with letting go.
Does it come easily to you? Or are you still learning how to release control long enough to simply enjoy where you are?
For me, living in the moment is absolutely something I’m still learning. And I wasn’t alone in the room. Several of us could relate. We all seem to have at least one area of our lives where letting go feels almost impossible. We want to manage it, fix it, perfect it, anticipate the problem, create the backup plan, and probably make a backup plan for the backup plan. Just in case.
For many women, that’s especially hard. We’re taught early to be the mature, organized, accommodating one β ready to fix whatever needs fixing. And for some of us, years of weaponized incompetence reinforce the little voice saying, if I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.
But constantly anticipating the worst can keep us from some pretty wonderful things. You could miss a great love because you’ve already decided someone is too young to understand you. You could turn a sweet moment into an anxiety spiral because you’re convinced the man you like is judging you for eating the cupcake β the one he bought you. Ma’am. At some point, we have to allow other people the chance to show up.
Soulmates, Twin Flames, or Just Down Bad?
Then the club went deeper. Do we believe in soulmates? What about twin flames? Is there really one person out there who’s your perfect match?
In the usual spiritual framing, a twin flame is someone who mirrors parts of you back β the beautiful parts and the messy ones β a connection believed to trigger some kind of awakening. A soulmate is more generally someone you feel deep familiarity and belonging with, romantic or not. It could be a partner, a friend, family.
We could not decide where Tess and Lucas land. They experience an almost immediate connection that feels very soulmate-ish. But they also challenge each other’s fears, expose insecurities, and become catalysts for some pretty major life decisions. Very twin-flame behavior.
And then the question in the middle of the room: the age gap. Could two people be meant to deeply affect each other without necessarily being together forever? Can a 26-year-old really know he wants to build a life with someone? Or are we dismissing Lucas’s ability to know himself just because of his age? We definitely did not solve that one. So now I’m asking you: what do you think Tess and Lucas are?
New Book, New Day, New Time
Now the practical news. We’re switching things up β a new book, a new meeting day, and a new time, all designed to work better with real schedules. We heard your comments. More people in the room means more opinions, more laughs, and more opportunities to lovingly argue over fictional people’s decisions.
You also voted on our September Book of the Month via Instagram, and the winner is Can’t Get Enough by Kennedy Ryan. Yes. Kennedy. Ryan. Prepare yourselves accordingly. You can pick up the book at BookShop.org.
Our next plus size FMC is Hendrix Barry, a successful woman in her 40s with a thriving career in the entertainment industry, incredible friendships, serious ambition β and enough going on in her life without adding a man to the equation. She’s also navigating one of the most complicated transitions of her life: caring for her aging mother. Romance? Hendrix does not exactly have time for all that. Until Maverick Bell walks in. A tech mogul with charm, confidence, and the audacity to be one of the first men Hendrix has met who might actually keep up with her.
And because this is a Kennedy Ryan novel, nothing could possibly be that simple. Maverick comes with a very complicated connection to one of Hendrix’s colleagues, which means the chemistry may be chemistry-ing, but the mess is also most definitely messing. Career, caregiving, friendship, desire, and grown folks making grown-folks decisions. We are going to have plenty to discuss, and we cannot wait.
Join the Next Meeting
New day, new time, and hopefully a few new faces in the Zoom room. We’re shifting the schedule so more of us can pull up a virtual chair and join in. Even if you haven’t gotten the book yet, you can join us Wednesday, September 16 at 4 p.m. PT / 7 p.m. ET for our first discussion of Can’t Get Enough. Bring your book, your drink, and your opinions β and absolutely bring the group chat energy, because if Kennedy Ryan gives us the kind of mess we think she is about to give us, we’re going to need to discuss it together.
New book. New day. New time. Same book club, with a little more room for community, conversation, joy, and fun.
In loving memory of Ashley Blackwell, the TCF Book Club’s original guide, whose love of storytelling and fat representation helped begin this community.
a note from Margot
I spent ten years editing magazine racks, telling other people what was worth their attention. This little book club taught me what it’s worth my own. I’m still learning to stop doing the backup-plan-for-the-backup-plan thing β one chapter at a time.
